​Dear Readers,
As all of you should know—primarily because you are all, based on your current Internet reading taste, insanely well-informed people who I can only assume know how to work the Google machine—studies show that approximately 70% of Americans hate their job, a number which tells us a lot about our country and the way its citizens live our lives. This number tells us that acrimony is endemic to our culture. This number demonstrates that contempt is native to our society. This number represents pain that almost all of us feel, agony that the vast majority of us are compelled to battle against. This number is something that we are all, in one way or another, forced to confront it. 

​Dear Readers,
As all of you should be sure of without a shadow of a doubt—both because you all possess taste buds capable of emitting happiness into your brain and because you know that veganism is the religion that ruined Tom Cruise and that chick who broke James Vander Beek’s heart in Dawson’s Creek forever—red meat may be the single greatest thing to have ever existed on the face of this Earth. Well first it goes America. Then it goes air-conditioning. Then it goes the St. Louis Rams. Then there’s the stuff that McDouble’s are made out of. Which isn’t bad company. A place on that list is as high as praise gets. A place on that list is, as they say, rarified air.