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If You Believe In Our Nation's Children, Then Starting Asking Them To Tell A Joke On Halloween

10/31/2018

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Dear Readers,
As all of you obviously know—because you are all capable of doing things like reading a calendar and wearing your usual plaid shirt to work while claiming to have dressed up as the “Bounty Paper Towel Man”—today is Halloween, an undeniably important day in the life of just about any child in these United States. When I was a child, I know that it was an important day in mine. I’d work on my routine for weeks, walking around the house wearing my costume and carrying an empty pillow case and knocking on random doors, before opening them myself and imagining one of neighbors on the other side. Then I’d launch into my joke: “where does dracula like to water ski…” I’d say to the air, pausing for way too short a period of time before continuing. “Lake Eeeeeerie.” In my mind’s eye, I could see all my adult neighbors as they lit up in uproarious laughter that was not at all forced before handing me a full sized Twix bar (the only candy with a cookie crunch) and looking down at me with a face full of pride.

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