As all of you know—primarily because all 7 people who read this blog know my true identity—my first name, in reality, is spelled “Zach.” No it is not pronounced like Bradley Cooper’s name in Wedding Crasher. Unfortunately my parents didn’t love me enough to give me that honor. Sadly my parents decided that they were part of a society, a society wherein children’s names were not pronounced like a pseudonym for “balls.” But I digress. This post is not about my parents.
This post is about my name. ‘Zachary,” which I believe is Hebrew for “dude with an overabundance of body hair,” and its radical spike in popularity through the late 80’s and into the 90’s. According to the Google machine, In 1970 289 of every 1 million babies born in the United States were given the name of Zachary Taylor, our 12th, and most distinctive, President that robbed our nation of its greatest leader after dying of diarrhea in 1850. By 1987, the year of my birth and the release of the Tom Selleck hit Three Men and a Baby, that number had risen to 6,775 Zach Attacks per one million babies born in this great nation. The name’s popularity peaked in 1993 (more on this later) at 12,373/million American children that were named Zachary, at least 8 or 10 of whom were girls.