Dear Readers,
As all of you should know—both because you all closely monitor every tweet Jim Thomas has ever sent in hopes of catching him sending a couple of topless pics to Kate Middleton in the most shockingly backwards mobile extramarital affair the world has ever known and because you all sleep outside the house of whoever the current Rams starting Quarterback each and every night because pro football is the only thing in your life that has any meaning and things like “restraining orders” and “privacy” mean nothing to you because you do not have a broad enough vocabulary to know what most words mean—the Sam Bradford era in our fair city has now come to a close. Sam the Ram is gone. Sam the Ram is dead. Sam the Ram is buried. Once and for all our NFL franchise has officially moved on from Sam the Ram. Once and for all science’s ability to produce the indestructible robot knees featured in every single edition of the RoboCop films for actual human use is someone else’s problem.
As all of you should know—both because you all closely monitor every tweet Jim Thomas has ever sent in hopes of catching him sending a couple of topless pics to Kate Middleton in the most shockingly backwards mobile extramarital affair the world has ever known and because you all sleep outside the house of whoever the current Rams starting Quarterback each and every night because pro football is the only thing in your life that has any meaning and things like “restraining orders” and “privacy” mean nothing to you because you do not have a broad enough vocabulary to know what most words mean—the Sam Bradford era in our fair city has now come to a close. Sam the Ram is gone. Sam the Ram is dead. Sam the Ram is buried. Once and for all our NFL franchise has officially moved on from Sam the Ram. Once and for all science’s ability to produce the indestructible robot knees featured in every single edition of the RoboCop films for actual human use is someone else’s problem.
RSS Feed
